Thank you for seeing me. I am here today further to my petition on compensation for victims of childhood sexual abuse who have thus far been denied compensation under what is called the same-roof rule.
There are many factors and experiences in our childhood that influence our future path. I have served on a children’s panel and have witnessed some pretty awful cases of neglect and cruelty, and I have been a foster carer and have witnessed the trauma that children have had to live with.
I have family members who are alcoholics. With an alcoholic, one can relatively easily spot when they have been drinking, times of sobriety and times of reckless abandon. There is usually some event that triggers the drinking—the loss of a loved one, family breakdown and so on. Their pain is obvious. The path that they walk is usually plain to see.
Sure, we all have good and bad days, but many victims of childhood sexual abuse suffer in silence. They have been abused, betrayed and let down. Often, they have been threatened to make them keep quiet—told to tell no one, or else. They experience the mental anguish that is suffered by alcoholics or those with mental health issues, for example. However, to an outsider, or even to close family members, the cause of their anguish and their pain is often hard to establish.
It is a time of silence for such victims. They dare not speak for fear of retribution. However, worse than that is the fear that, somehow, they have only themselves to blame. The abuse leaves victims feeling dirty, ashamed and worthless. They wonder, “What will happen to me if I tell my mother? What will happen to my siblings? Where does that leave me? Surely I am damaged goods. I have been mentally and physically abused. Who would ever want to love me for me, with all the baggage that has been forced on me? If I tell someone, will they believe me? Will they help me? What help is out there? Who can I turn to, and who can I trust?”
For many reasons, many victims of childhood sexual abuse remain silent. It affects their whole lives. It affects their mental health and it can affect their physical health. Studies have shown that victims often have more medical problems and may even have a shorter lifespan because of the abuse.
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I know that. I had a great childhood. I was not aware of childhood sexual abuse until I met Linda, whom I was to marry and be with for some 25 years. Linda had been abused by her father from a very early age up until she ran away from home on the day of her 16th birthday. It was a year or so after we had been together that Linda felt able to tell me about the abuse.
Linda got help and, by and large, it worked, but it did not stop the memories, the feeling of fear or the feeling of being used and of being worthless, nor did it stop the nightmares, the sense of shame or the feeling of being in some way to blame.
Linda died at the age of 58 three years ago. Poor health and terrible memories were with her every day. I am seeking not just financial compensation for such victims but something that is perhaps more important: recognition of the wrongs that were inflicted on them. To explain being abused as a child is, quite honestly, beyond any words. It involves being let down by family and by everyone else, including themselves. It involves being let down by a system that discriminates against victims because of some arbitrary dates, which have been chosen as a money-saving scheme. Linda, along with so many others, was let down by the powers that be.
I am here in Parliament, and I ask—as I request in my petition—that you give help to those who are presently excluded under the so-called same-roof rule. It is not fair, it is wrong and it must be changed. I, along with many others, have tried over many years to have the rule abolished. This is the very place—the very building—that contains the very people who have the power to bring about such a change.
The law applies equally to all. No one is above the law. All persons shall be equal before the law—apart, it seems, from those victims who have so far been denied compensation.
The issue is not just about money; it is about recognition for what happened to all those who still suffer, many years after they were abused. I most respectfully ask for your help.